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Chapter 953

Don’t bow your head. (3)

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‘Strength…’

Namgung Dowi bit his lips until they almost tore apart.

‘Find the strength. Just a little… just a little more, and we can hold on…’

He knew. He was holding on desperately, as if trying to stop his collapsing strength from tearing apart his hands, but no matter how hard he tried, he already understood that he couldn’t save himself.

It wasn’t the first time.

It wasn’t the first time he had seen this damn situation.

His blood-dried, crimson-stained hands, trembling violently, approached his face.

“Y-young…lor…d”

“Yes, Jin. Just a little more strength, and reinforcements will come! Then we can return to Namgung! Just until then… find the strength…”

Namgung Dowi’s face contorted horribly.

He knew it shouldn’t be like this, but he couldn’t help but contort his face.

It was a blatant lie. The speaker and the listener both knew. They knew how absurd this lie was.

But Namgung Dowi clung to that blatant lie with all his might. Because it was the only thing he could do.

“M-m… My lord…”

“Namgung Jin…”

“I-I must… survive…”

“…”

Namgung Dowi’s hand trembled violently.

It might become familiar now. He had already sent so many this way. But he couldn’t get used to it. No matter how many times he felt that chilling, repulsive sensation, as warmth and strength drained from the hand he held, it was just as agonizing as the first time.

“I… want to see Namgung Clan… one more time…”

As Namgung Jin struggled to speak, his pupils gradually lost focus. Simultaneously, the strength slipped away from Namgung Dowi’s grasping hand.

“Namgung Jin!”

“Jin, you bastard!”

A loud cry erupted from those who had been guarding his last moments. It was mixed with sobbing, and it was a voice driven by pent-up anger, unable to bear the impending grief.

But Namgung Dowi just bowed his head and pressed his forehead against Namgung Jin’s blood-stained chest.

‘Don’t cry.’

Blood flowed through his cracked lips. But Namgung Dowi couldn’t shed tears, even if he could shed blood for Namgung Jin.

Because if he showed tears, everyone would crumble.

With his eyes reddened and bloodshot, Namgung Dowi clenched his fists as if he could tear the ground apart.

Was there no way to save him?

Really, was there absolutely no way to save him?

If they had received timely treatment from a proper physician, they might not have died. No, if they had at least prepared some emergency medicine, even if not for everyone, perhaps some could have been saved.

But there was nothing of the sort here.

No physicians to treat them, no medicine to sustain their lives.

All that was here was the desolate land and the monotonous, indifferent flow of the river. And…

Namgung Dowi raised his eyes with a poisonous glare. He looked beyond the boats of the Sapaeryeon that had surrounded this island and at the factions watching across the river as if they were spectators.

“Ugh…”

The youthful venom in those eyes might have been directed not at the Sapaeryeon but at the Gupailbang* standing behind them.

He knew.

All of this was the doing of Namgung Family. It was only right for him to bear the full responsibility for the countless deaths that had resulted from it. But even so…

Squelch.

Namgung Dowi ground his teeth together.

Perhaps he wouldn’t have resented them if they hadn’t shouted and screamed. If they had quietly defended the Central Plains and elevated righteousness, it might have been more forgivable.

But… where was that righteousness they had shouted about so loudly?

While those who had fought for the commoners and were injured were dying on this cold land, what on earth were they doing?

“Ugh…”

At that moment, there was a sound that caught Namgung Dowi’s attention. It was the groaning of someone else who was struggling with injuries.

He exhaled a long breath through his cracked lips. Then, slowly, he reached out and closed Namgung Jin’s eyes before standing up.

Staring down at Namgung Jin in silence, he spoke in a dry voice.

“Prepare the bodies.”

“Young Lord..”

“I understand your feelings. If there’s time to mourn for the dead, it should be spent on saving the living.”

Who could possibly refrain from feeling indignation at those words?

But among Namgung Clan’s members, who had reddened their eyes, there was no one to argue against him.

Namgung Dowi had a particularly close relationship with Namgung Jin. It was evident in the trembling shoulders that showed how he felt about saying such things.

Namgung Dowi turned away and moved away.

“Young Lord…”

Someone reflexively tried to call him back, but their words trailed off. They knew that Namgung Dowi needed some time alone.

With little strength left, Namgung Dowi reached the riverside. He sat down as if collapsing in that spot.

There were the Sapaeryeon’s vanguard units, seemingly indifferent to the situation in Maehwado, moving slowly while holding their positions, and beyond them, the Gupailbang.

As Namgung Dowi turned around, he saw Namgung Jin’s body being moved, and the sight of those tending to the injured who seemed lost in their thoughts. There was no strength in their hands.

It was understandable.

All these actions might be meaningless, given the suspicion and fear that everything could turn out to be in vain.

How many days were left?

Three? Two?

A bitter laugh escaped through cracked lips. If the Maninbang and Surochae arrived at Maehwado together, then they would likely die without even putting up meaningful resistance. In the few days since the siege began, they had not only failed to store up strength but had also grown weaker.

“Ugh…”

Namgung Dowi gritted his teeth and rubbed his hands against his roughened face. His grip on his face was filled with anguish.

He knew.

They wouldn’t help Namgung. Everyone knew that.

But what drove Namgung Dowi truly mad was not just the fact that they wouldn’t help, but that despite knowing this fact, he couldn’t let go of that last strand of hope.

“Ugh…”

A voice, a groan, or perhaps a sob, it was hard to tell. His bloodshot eyes gazed across the river.

“How does it feel?”

The muttered words carried the scent of blood.

‘How does it feel to watch this place from there…?’

He wanted to ask.

He desperately wanted to ask.

Did they know how it felt to see their own family, with whom they’ve seen face -to-face just yesterday, dying in front of their eyes? Did they know how it felt not to offer even the slightest help when witnessing someone withering away, crying out in pain?

Perhaps Namgung Dowi felt the same way.

After going through such an ordeal, witnessing it with their own eyes, and not uttering a sound of pain, they might have chosen the most advantageous way for Namgung on the other side, while watching.

But now he knew.

‘One should not calculate benefits over a person’s life.’

Anyone who went through such an experience would think the same way. Anyone!

“Ugh…”

But what could be done?

He had realized the truth too late.

Just as Namgung Dowi’s body seemed to lean over as if about to collapse, bloodshot eyes wide, he was about to succumb to despair when something happened.

He instinctively grabbed the ground and propped himself up. His eyes, devoid of any motivation just moments ago, suddenly widened.

“…Him?”

Amid the hazy vision, he was undoubtedly visible.

He rubbed his eyes roughly. Then, he opened them wide again and gazed across the river.

A sudden realization!

Namgung Dowi bit his lip fiercely. His hazy mind had suddenly cleared.

They probably couldn’t see it from across the river where the Gupailbang members were positioned. They wouldn’t have the luxury to turn to the side or behind them. But it was certainly visible to Namgung Dowi’s eyes as he gazed at the riverside from this side.

Over there, quite a distance from the riverside, where the Gupailbang had positioned themselves. Someone in green clothing was looking at this place, observing it.

“It’s Tang Clan!”

Certainly, it was definitely the Sichuan Tang, the clan who was known to have already withdrawn from the Yangtze river. Namgung Dowi grabbed his thigh for a moment, but he quickly dismissed it.

Perhaps it was a rash thought. They might have just sent someone to the Yangtze river for reconnaissance.

But…

Namgung Dowi didn’t move a muscle and stared at the spot where Tang Gunak was. The man had carefully examined the movements of the Saepaeryeon and the Gupailbang, as well as the situation inside Maehwado, before turning away.

A moment later, Namgung Dowi rose to his feet as if he was possessed. He stared into the distance for a long time, as if trying to distinguish whether what he had just seen was real or a hallucination.

‘If Tang Gunak is here…’

It wasn’t until much later that he slowly turned his body.

As he retraced his steps, the entire situation on the island became clear to him.

“Snap out of it! You bastard! You can’t die!”

“Damn it… why us…”

“Khh… khhuk.”

People dying in despair every day, those unable to hold back their grief while tending to the wounded, the stench of rotting flesh and decomposition. And the overwhelming smell of despair.

Namgung Dowi didn’t stop walking.

‘This is a foolish thing to do.’

He knows.

‘There might be no gain from this, and the situation may only worsen.’

He knows that too.

‘But why?’

The reason is too simple. He can’t just sit here and wait for death to come. He has a responsibility to protect the people here.

He is Namgung Dowi, the young lord of Namgung Clan.

His footsteps quickened, and he finally arrived at his destination. It was in front of Namgung Hwang, who seemed to have aged at least ten more years since they last met.

Namgung Dowi silently gazed at Namgung Hwang. Namgung Hwang, who had exhausted all his energy pushing his inner power into the injured, was leaning against a shattered rock, his eyes closed. His face was filled with deep regret and a heavy sense of responsibility.

A heavy sense of responsibility that felt suffocating.

Sensing his presence, Namgung Hwang slowly opened his eyes and looked at Namgung Dowi.

“What’s going on?”

Namgung Dowi continued to gaze at Namgung Hwang without saying a word. The gazes of the two clan leaders intertwined in the air.

“You mentioned it before, didn’t you?”

“What… did I mention?”

“If you have the determination, my Lord, you can escape from this island.”

Namgung Hwang raised his head.

“I’m not leaving.”

A self-deprecating smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“How can I, the Lord of Namgung, abandon these people and go somewhere else? I will stay here with them, and… *cough*.”

He coughed dryly and twisted his lips.

“That may be true in the future, but not now.”

“Alone, you mean.”

Namgung Hwang glanced up at Namgung Dowi for a moment.

“What are you trying to say?”

As Namgung Dowi finally made up his mind and glared at Namgung Hwang.

“Dowi?”

“While it might be impossible for you alone, if you join forces with the elders, we might be able to send at least one person from this island.”

“…”

“Although Jang Ilso may be of an evil faction, he is not the one to break his own words. There’s a reason for it. So even if we attempt an escape, they won’t retaliate by attacking the island. In other words…”

Namgung Dowi said continued speaking as if chewing his own words.

“I believe it’s worth trying to send at least one person.”

“…”

“Please let me go, my Lord.”

Determination and anger burned in his eyes simultaneously.

“To save you, even if it means sacrificing my own life to reach that shore, please allow me.”

Pale and weak, Namgung Hwang looked at his son.

One day, a father will face a moment when his child stands at the same level as him. And right now, Namgung Hwang keenly felt what that emotion was.

Therefore, he didn’t ask.

He didn’t ask what his son intended to do or why it had to be Namgung Dowi and not him.

Because it was meaningless.

“…And the price for this?”

That was the only thing he was curious about.

“Exactly as you said, it’s something all the elders, including me, will have to stake our lives on. What is the price we pay when we, who should protect everyone’s lives until the very end, lay down our own lives?”

Namgung Dowi’s eyes were filled with determination. It was something that couldn’t be found in the current Namgung Hwang.

“Hope.”

“…”

“Isn’t that enough?”

After a brief silence, Namgung Hwang chuckled.

“Isn’t it?”

“…”

Namgung Hwang slowly got up. Tears began to well up in his eyes as well. In his grown son’s eyes, it was something young, yet firm — a resolute determination.

“Is it enough?”

His hands tightly gripped Namgung Dowi’s shoulders.

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*Gupailbang – 구파일방(九派一幇)

  • 구 (九): Means “nine.”
    • 파 (派): Translates to “sect” or “school.”
    • 일 (一): Means “one.”
    • 방 (幇): Refers to “group” in a broad spectrum.

Nine Sects One Union – general translation. It included 9 sects historically but in current narrative it’s 10 sects as we know from early in the novel.

2 responses to “Chapter 953”

  1. Kat R Avatar
    Kat R

    Hope…they have had their hope taken from them and those just teased around with namgung hope, but Dowi is still believing….aghhh, what is this situation. Dowi, I Believe in you 😭😭

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Calelover24 Avatar
    Calelover24

    Dowi!!!😭

    Like

Leave a reply to Calelover24 Cancel reply