Return of the Mount Hua

I can’t afford to lose it. (5)

ROTMHS Glossary || About page

A breeze swept past, brushing against the hem of his robe. Chung Myung felt the cold wind as it passed over his body, his eyes closed.

It was cold.

While it wasn’t as biting as the wind of Hwasan, the mountain breeze here on Wudang was still far from friendly. Perhaps this chill was the mountain’s way of warning those who had settled in a place where human footsteps were never meant to tread.

If you yearn for what you should not, you will eventually lose what you must not lose…

Chung Myung sensed a subtle shift in the air around him and slowly opened his eyes. Before him stood a familiar figure, quietly looking down at him.

“Sago?”

“How unusual.”

At her brief remark, Chung Myung glanced sideways. The sight of blue roof tiles and a clear sky filled his vision.

On the roof of the hall. It was true – Chung Myung hadn’t come up here in a long time.

Why was that?

He didn’t need to ponder the reason for long – he had an inkling. But Chung Myung refused to acknowledge it. Admitting it would mean he also had to acknowledge why he was here now.

Instead, he asked softly. 

“…What’s going on?”

Yu Iseol looked down at Wudang’s landscape visible beneath the eaves without answering. The silence stretched between them, but Chung Myung didn’t feel the need to hurry her.

Finally, she spoke.

“There was so much I wanted to say.”

“…”

“But now…”

She cast a glance at Chung Myung, who was lying on the roof.

“It seems like there’s nothing I can do.”

Chung Myung’s eyebrow twitched slightly, as if something about her words irritated him.

“So why did you come he-“

“Is there really no way?”

Yu Iseol cut him off, her voice steady but intense.

Chung Myung closed his mouth, as if something heavy was choking him, preventing him from speaking.

“Baek Cheon Sahyeong.”

“…”

“Is there truly nothing you can do?”

For a brief moment, their eyes met in the air. But it was Chung Myung who turned away first.

“I’m not… capable of doing everything.”

Yu Iseol’s long hair fluttered in the wind. Though her face remained expressionless, her fingertips betrayed the emotions she struggled to contain.

As she looked up at the distant sky, after watching Chung Myung’s back for a long time, she finally spoke.

“This isn’t like you.”

“…”

“What you said is true. But still…”

A dark shadow passed over Yu Iseol’s eyes.

“The old you would have said, ‘If there isn’t a way, then you just make one.’”

“…”

“And we would have believed you, even if we had our doubts. In the end, we always did.”

Swish.

The sound of Yu Iseol’s clothes brushing as she turned reached Chung Myung’s ears. It felt strangely tingly.

“I’m going to find a way. I haven’t become an adult like you yet.”

Soon, her presence faded away, leaving behind a sudden emptiness that felt more bitter than hollow. Chung Myung let out a short sigh.

“Sahyeong.”

In the sky, he imagined Chung Mun’s face, looking down at him with a gentle, almost pitying smile.

“It’s really not easy… not at all…”

❀ ❀ ❀

Shrrr.

The wind swept across the towering mountain peak, causing the wide sleeves of Baek Cheon’s robe to flap violently. His arms, so thin and frail, seemed almost swallowed by the fabric, making the sleeves billow even more fiercely.

‘It’s cold.’

Baek Cheon allowed a bitter smile to touch his lips.

His body had become so weak that even enduring this gentle breeze was a struggle. What would have once felt refreshing now bit into him with a chill sharper than the cold winds of the Northern Sea.

Yet despite this, Baek Cheon found some solace in this place.

Up here, far from the warmth and the gaze of others, the cold and the difficulty didn’t matter as much. He preferred it to the warmth below, where others eyes could reach him.

His thoughts wandered to Chung Myung.

Perhaps that’s why Chung Myung used to climb onto the roof of the pavilion whenever he had the chance. To escape the gaze of others. To avoid the risk of anyone noticing the turmoil inside his head.

‘Was he…’

Was Chung Myung feeling something similar to what Baek Cheon felt now, back then?

Baek Cheon let out a hollow laugh.

No, it was different. It had to be different. Whatever worries Chung Myung had back then, at least he had a future ahead of him. He wasn’t stuck at the bottom of a dark pit like Baek Cheon was now.

Beneath his feet, the steep mountainside stretched out, appearing charred and blackened, a grim and desolate sight.

Of course, it wouldn’t remain like this forever. Though it looked like this now, the mountain would eventually recover, with grass and trees gradually growing back, returning the landscape to its former beauty. The mountain, slowly but surely, would reclaim its original form.

But Baek Cheon couldn’t do the same. He was like the crumbled cliff below – once it had collapsed, there was no way to restore it, the rock shattered beyond repair.

But then…

‘Is that really true?’

He had tried not to think about it, but yesterday’s conversation inevitably resurfaced in his mind.

❀ ❀ ❀

“…What are you talking about?”

When Baek Cheon asked, Jin Geumryong silently looked at him. His gaze was crystal clear.

“…Are you saying there’s a way?”

“Yes.”

Baek Cheon mumbled, dazed, as if he had been struck hard by something.

“You’re telling me… there’s a way to heal my body?”

With a serious expression, Jin Geumryong nodded firmly once again.

“That’s right.”

Soon, Baek Cheon’s face twisted in despair.

“Don’t talk nonsense. Even Hwasan and the Tang clan said it was impossible. How could Jongnam possibly…? Are you trying to mock me…!”

“Get a grip.”

Before Baek Cheon could finish speaking, Jin Geumryong sharply cut him off.

“When did Hwasan or the Tang clan ever become such great sects?”

“…”

“Just because they couldn’t do it, do you think Jongnam can’t either? You, of all people, should know that Jongnam is a far bigger and greater sect than they could ever be.”

There was no denying it. Baek Cheon’s eyes wavered greatly.

“If you want confirmation, I’ll say it again. Even if they couldn’t do it, Jongnam can. If we mobilize the full power of Jongnam, healing your body would be more than possible.”

Baek Cheon’s pale, parched lips cracked open, revealing a trace of blood. A burning thirst consumed his entire body. The thirst was so intense that the pain, which had seemed like it would crush his body, and the humiliation of facing Jin Geumryong in such a wretched state, felt as if they had never existed.

“You’re saying… it can be healed…?”

Jin Geumryong let out a short sigh.

“Of course, it might be impossible to do so completely.”

“…”

“It might not be possible to return you to your peak condition in an instant. I’m not a physician, so I can’t guarantee that. But… from what I know, at the very least, it’s possible to restore you enough that you could practice martial arts again.”

Jin Geumryong looked down at Baek Cheon’s emaciated arm, the arm that couldn’t even hold a light brush properly, pitiful as it was.

Baek Cheon’s fingertips twitched momentarily, as if even that gaze was too heavy to bear.

“I can make it so you can grip a sword with that hand again… and practice martial arts once more.”

“…”

“But only if you give up being a disciple of Hwasan and become a disciple of Jongnam.”

Jin Geumryong’s voice was cold. But Baek Cheon could sense it – the desperate sincerity hidden beneath that feigned coldness.

“This isn’t about you abandoning Hwasan. It’s simply you returning to the place you were meant to be. You are…”

“…get lost.”

“What?”

At that moment, Baek Cheon bit down hard on his lower lip.

“If you’re done spouting nonsense, get lost.”

“…”

“I am the Vice Sect Leader of Hwasan. Even in this wretched state, that hasn’t changed.”

The face of Jin Geumryong, who had maintained his calm demeanor all this time, finally twisted in agony.

“Jin Dong…!”

He was on the verge of shouting, but he barely managed to swallow his words. His flushed face quickly returned to its pale color.

Instead of raising his voice, he let out a long sigh and approached, lightly gripping Baek Cheon’s shoulder.

“Let go. What are you trying to…?”

“Stay still! You can’t even resist, you idiot!”

Jin Geumryong lifted the fallen Baek Cheon to his feet. He carefully sat him down so that he could lean against the bed, then stood up without hesitation.

Jin Geumryong shot a cold glance at Baek Cheon, who was panting and staring at him, and then spoke.

“I admit it. I was too hasty.”

“…”

“But everything I said was sincere. If you make up your mind, Sect Leader would gladly welcome you.”

“I am…!”

“Shut up and listen!”

Jin Geumryong spoke through gritted teeth, almost growling.

“I’m not saying this because I take your devotion to Hwasan lightly. I just want you to know that Jongnam is just as sincere about you. Sincere enough to offer you the sect’s most precious treasure, even though we can’t guarantee your complete recovery!”

“…”

“The choice is yours. If you decide to return, Jongnam and I will take care of everything that follows.”

Having said all he needed to, Jin Geumryong turned and strode towards the door, leaving the room with firm, deliberate steps. He slowly but decisively closed the door behind him.

A moment later, Jin Geumryong’s voice came through the closed door.

“Dongryong-ah.”

“…”

“I am your older brother. And Jongnam is your family.”

Baek Cheon’s frail hand unconsciously clenched into a fist.

“Don’t forget that.”

The sound of footsteps grew distant as Jin Geumryong’s presence faded away.

Baek Cheon stared blankly at the door Jin Geumryong had just closed for a long while before lowering his gaze.

The brush that had lost its value because he could no longer grip it properly still lay on the floor.

A chuckle escaped Baek Cheon’s lips.

“Haha…”

It was a bitter and weak laugh.

❀ ❀ ❀

Recalling last night’s conversation, Baek Cheon opened his eyes, feeling the chill of the wind.

The barren, charred mountain stretched out before him, and beyond it, the vast and green fields remained as expansive and lush as ever, making it seem almost pitiful to lament his own changed state.

His heart wavered.

Maybe… perhaps such an opportunity could still be given to him?

“I am the Vice Sect Leader of Hwasan.”

Whenever such thoughts crossed his mind, Baek Cheon repeated these words to himself, over and over again.

This was Baek Cheon’s pride, his everything. But it was also something that would soon be lost.

That position would soon be passed on to Yoon Jong or Baek Sang… Perhaps Chung Myung might even step forward to take the lead.

And so, Baek Cheon would gradually fade into the background, whether by his own choice or by others’.

He had never felt resentful about it. This was what Baek Cheon wished for, and it was the natural course of events.

It was just… bitter.

Wounds would eventually heal, new skin would grow over them, and emotions too would eventually dull. The sadness in the eyes of those who looked at Baek Cheon now would one day fade as well. He would simply become someone who was naturally expected to exist in this state.

And the light he had lost would shine even more brightly through someone else – Yoon Jong, Jo Geol, Yu Iseol, Tang Soso, Hye Yeon, and…

Baek Cheon looked up at the sky.

The thought of having to watch that brilliance from a place where the light no longer reaches was nothing short of bitter.

After all, he too once had it – a future where he would shine alongside them. Perhaps even a future more radiant than theirs.

Didn’t he let go of it himself?

Yes, that’s right. If he hadn’t, there might have been less regret. But because it was his own choice… that’s precisely why the regret lingers so strongly.

Baek Cheon let out a quiet chuckle.

He knew. If he decided to go to Jongnam to heal his body, his fellow disciples would actually be happy for him. They might even push him to go, saying that affiliation doesn’t matter. No, they definitely would. That’s the kind of people they are.

But Baek Cheon also knew something else. That choice would eventually… separate him from them. Even if their paths didn’t completely diverge, he would never be able to live as their Sahyeong in the same way again.

What is the right thing to do? No, what is it that he truly desires?

He spent a long while staring blankly, alternating his gaze between his frail arm and the sky. It was then that a voice suddenly called out from behind him.

“Ahem. I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

Startled, he turned around to find someone standing there, someone who could no longer be considered a stranger.

“This is my spot.”

“Ah…”

Baek Cheon, flustered, could only let out a small exclamation, while Heo Gong smiled warmly.

Next chapter >>>

_______ 

I have previously had a long rant here, but deleted it for the sake of my mental health.

________

The latest chapters of the novel – Patreon or Buymeacoffee – caught up to the ongoing there. Currently aligning my blog and my Patreon schedule-wise so the new schedule here soon too.