If one must bear it. (8)
It was so stifling it felt overwhelming.
If not for Baek Cheon, his life would already have been cut short. Perhaps if he had died then… He could have finally had some rest.
Before he was afraid to look at the sky without covering his face. But Jin Songwon now tore off his own mask.
Was it because he was no longer afraid? Or because it had become too painful to go on living with these feelings?
So this is… What it is to ‘give in to despair*’…
Jin Songwon, who had been mulling over Baek Cheon’s words, gave a low, mocking laugh.
Step. Step.
At that moment, the sound of footsteps echoed. They resounded from behind Baek Cheon.
Sensing a chill, Baek Cheon turned around in haste.
“…Move aside.”
Chung Myung, who had been driven back by Jin Songwon’s sword, was advancing, emanating a chilling aura. No matter how you looked at him, he had no intention of stopping. He certainly wasn’t about to give Jin Songwon any time.
Feeling stifled, Baek Cheon raised his voice.
“Stop. Didn’t you hear me?”
“What if I stop?”
“What?”
Chung Myung asked without any emotion.
“What changes if I stop now?”
“…”
“Do you think that if I stop now, we can go on living as if nothing happened?”
Baek Cheon bit his lip hard.
He knew. That was impossible. They had already committed a sin. Even if Baek Cheon and Hwasan forgave them, the world never would.
“An action that can’t be undone shouldn’t be made in the first place. The moment you do it, it’s already over.”
Just as Baek Cheon bit his lip and was about to retort.
“Right. You can’t undo the irreversible – you can only bear it.”
Jin Songwon’s voice was heavy with despair.
“…Sect Leader.”
Looking back, Jin Songwon was already gazing not at the sky, but at Baek Cheon.
“But if I no longer have the strength to bear it, there’s only one way, don’t you think? To collapse together with that burden.”
Jin Songwon’s sword was aimed at Baek Cheon. No, beyond Baek Cheon, at Chung Myung approaching from this side. Or… by now, it was impossible to tell who stood at the tip of that sword.
It was hard to tell clearly.
Perhaps Jin Songwon himself did not know what he was aiming at.
“Vice Sect Leader. You’re a good man.”
He spoke with a faint smile.
“You must have something you can do. It doesn’t have to be clinging to the debris that has already crumbled and weeping over it. So step aside. If you have time to persuade me, save your comrades instead. Don’t leave room for needless regret.”
At the edge of his cool voice, a small trace of warmth lingered.
But before there was time to feel it, Jin Songwon’s sword cut through the empty air.
Fwaaaah!
Kaaang!
Jin Songwon’s sword and Chung Myung’s sword clashed once again.
The killing intent was thick, as if that brief moment of emptiness earlier had all been a lie.
Even so, not everything was as before. Though the killing intent was deep, the edges of the blades were unmistakably dulled.
They weren’t the sort of men whose swords would waver from a mere injury. Then why were they hesitating?
Completely disregarding Baek Cheon, the two swords collided. That utterly foolish part of them, incapable of holding either warmth** or coldness, was eerily similar in both.
Baek Cheon felt as though his insides were on fire.
These two aren’t refusing to stop – they simply cannot. They know this path is wrong, yet once they’ve stepped onto it, there’s no other way.
So, like those who have nothing but flames behind them, they rush towards a precipitous cliff.
They know that in the end, they will only wound each other, and yet they keep going.
This realization was unbearable for Baek Cheon.
Kwoooom!
The swords that had been locked in a fierce clash recoiled with a thunderous crash, and just as they were about to collide again.
Baek Cheon suddenly thrust his hand between the two swords.
At the sight of that hand – withered and gaunt like an ancient tree – the two men wielding the swords widened their eyes.
“Guh…!”
Chung Myung and Jin Songwon twisted their swords almost simultaneously. It’s far more difficult to pull back a strike than to send one forward. As the force that had been surging out abruptly reversed, neither man could withstand it and both spat up blood.
Coughing up blood, Jin Songwon lifted his head up and roared.
“What are you doing?! You crazy bastard!”
Two jagged wounds were carved into Baek Cheon’s palm and wrist, blood streaming down in torrents. The cuts ran so deep that the blades had grazed bone.
If even one of the two swordsmen had let their guard down, that hand would already be lying on the ground, severed from the body.
“Have you lost your mind completely?”
Jin Songwon raged, unable to contain his emotions. But Baek Cheon was no different.
“You should have just cut me down as you were!”
‘What did you say?”
“You let your disciples die at the swords of the Just Sects and took out your anger on innocent people, yet you can’t even chopp off the hand of someone you met only days ago?”
“…”
“Stop this childish behavior, Sect Leader!”
Baek Cheon grabbed Jin Songwon by the collar. Though his hand trembled so violently he could scarcely exert any real strength, he somehow held on.
Sensing the desperate sincerity in that clumsy grip, Jin Songwon froze for an instant.
“It’s not over yet!”
Baek Cheon cried out.
“Nothing’s over yet! Nothing!”
He mustered all his strength, tightening his grip on Jin Songwon’s collar. Then, as if to urge him to actually look, he shoved Jin Songwon’s body towards the battlefield.
“Do you see?”
The scene of the battlefield came into sharp focus of Jin Songwon’s gaze.
“Can you see them? Your disciples dying over there!”
A scene of utter chaos, where people were struggling to kill the ones in front of them. Jin Songwon’s disciples, too, had not emerged unscathed from that horrific spectacle.
‘Everyone…..’
The reality he could no longer turn away from spread out before him.
“Do they truly look as though they’re already dead? Do they seem like nothing more than living ghosts? Then what do you call that blood they’re spilling? Is it all fake?”
“Vice Sect Leader.”
“If you truly feel guilty, isn’t there something else you should be doing? Are you, the Sect Leader, really planning to let your other disciples die in disgrace too? What sin have those who followed you committed to deserve that!”
Jin Songwon slowly turned his eyes and looked at Baek Cheon, his gaze fixed. Then, he gave a short laugh.
“You’re quite the smooth talker.”
Thwack!
Jin Songwon lightly shrugged off Baek Cheon’s grip on his collar.
“And yet, isn’t brawling here all you can do? Even as your own comrades are dying there?”
“…”
“How is that different from giving up? You’re only here so you can feel better about yourself. How is that any different from me giving up?”
“It’s different.”
“How so?”
“Because I haven’t given up. I believe.”
Baek Cheon stubbornly stretched out his hand again, pointing towards the battlefield.
“Look closely with your own eyes, and see if I’ve really given up or not.”
Amid that hellscape he wished to turn his eyes from, there were two spots that stood out. Tang Gunak and the three young Just Sects’ warriors locked in a desperate battle, suffering at the hands of the Evil Sects.
Nothing had changed from when he first saw them. Not a single thing.
No matter how much they struggled or hurled righteous words, they still hadn’t fully overcome Sapaeryeon. Yes, just like Diancang.
Jin Songwon was about to mock them further when.
“…What?”
His eyes widened slightly. Something beyond all common sense had begun to unfold.
❀ ❀ ❀
Kaaaaang!
The flying dagger shot towards Cheon Myeon Susa like a bolt of lightning. It looked as though it pierced his body. But in reality, the blade only passed through Cheon Myeon Susa’s afterimage [잔영(殘影)].
Moving sideways as though he vanished and reappeared like smoke, Cheon Myeon Susa let out a faint sneer.
“In the end, if it doesn’t reach me, that’s all there is to it.”
“…”
“Your judgment is clouded, Tang Gunak. Choosing me as an opponent was a foolish move.”
The fact that he couldn’t immediately refute those words left a bitter taste in Tang Gunak’s mouth.
He could stop Cheon Myeon Susa from escaping, but actually driving a dagger into his body was far more difficult. With Cheon Myeon Susa focused entirely on dodging, even being completely fine, Tang Gunak would have struggled. Wounded as he was, there was no way he could prevail.
Moreover.
Fwaaah!
Tang Gunak sharply threw himself back.
Kwaaang!
A chilling sword energy slashed through the space he’d just occupied. If he hadn’t dodged in time, there would have been no hope of blocking it, and his body would have been sliced in two.
“……Huuuuff.”
His breathing was ragged. Dealing with Cheon Myeon Susa alone was already grueling, and Jeok Ho was here as well.
“Considering all your boasts about taking me on by yourself, you’re putting a lot into this pincer attack.”
“…We can’t afford to waste any more time.”
Jeok Ho answered indifferently, but displeasure was lingering in his voice.
But either way, they clearly didn’t want to spend any more time on Tang Gunak.
There was only one reason these two hadn’t finished off the already dying Tang Gunak yet.
Drip.
The acid dripping from Tang Gunak’s dagger was melting the ground.
“Certainly, the Tang Clan can be quite troublesome.”
Cheon Myeon Susa, Dam Yeohae, clicked his tongue.
If the acid coating the flying daggers was all there was to worry about, they would have rushed in to take Tang Gunak’s life, even if it meant sustaining some damage.
But there was no telling what else might be hidden in those sleeves. Because they had to be on guard, they couldn’t freely move in.
Ironically, the severe wounds Tang Gunak had suffered were, in fact, extending his life. After all, no one wants to fight at full strength against a wounded beast that might die on its own if left alone.
If they simply dragged things out like this, Tang Gunak would steadily come closer to his end.
But once again, Cheon Myeon Susa and Jeok Ho were at odds.
“Wouldn’t it be better to just end this now?”
At Jeok Ho’s words, a brief flicker of displeasure crossed Cheon Myeon Susa’s face.
“If you want it done, then do it yourself.”
Cheon Myeon Susa replied curtly, causing Jeok Ho to hesitate for a moment.
“Why? Worried about getting hurt?”
“I’m not afraid of such a thing.”
“Ah, so it’s what comes after that you’re worried about?”
Jeok Ho clamped his mouth shut. Cheon Myeon Susa clicked his tongue again.
He didn’t trust Cheon Myeon Susa, so of course he was concerned – worried about that moment Cheon Myeon Susa might stand behind his wounded body, whether it happens now or after the war is over.
Jeok Ho falling would mean that Jang Ilso becomes more vulnerable in the face of greater dangers. Such honest devotion was a rare sight within the Evil Sects.
“What did your Ryeonju promise you? I might be able to offer even more.”
At Cheon Myeon Susa’s words, Jeok Ho gave a rare smile – though it was unmistakably a sneer.
“You simply aren’t worthy.”
“So you’re saying Ryeonju is worthy, then?”
Jeok Ho remained silent. There was no clearer way to affirm it. A momentary glint of murderous intent flashed in Cheon Myeon Susa’s eyes.
If you cannot obtain a blade, you must break it.
But… now is not the time.
“Indeed, at this rate we’ll be at it until morning. If you take the lead, I’ll finish it.”
“…All right.”
Jeok Ho nodded. He didn’t particularly relish standing in front of Cheon Myeon Susa, but it was clear they couldn’t drag this out any longer.
His blade moved slowly.
Tang Gunak watched the entire scene without blinking even once.
Was he out of breath? He couldn’t tell. All his senses felt distant, like they belonged to someone else. He could barely even sense the enemy standing before him.
Only one thing was certain – the weight of the flying daggers in his hand.
They felt heavy.
These lightweight daggers felt as burdensome as a thousand geun [근 old measure of weight] to him right now.
Had he been arrogant? Probably not. But he certainly lacked something.
He held eight flying daggers in his hand.
Including the four he had failed to retrieve because of exhaustion, that made a total of twelve. Hence, the Twelve Flying Daggers.
However.
‘They’re not enough.’
Twelve daggers were insufficient to slit their throats. He was short by one.
Exactly one dagger was missing.
It wouldn’t be easy. Adding that one dagger would be twice as difficult as commanding all twelve.
Even so…
‘I should have done it.’
No matter when regret arrives, it’s always too late.
Tang Gunak tightened his grip on the daggers. If he couldn’t prevent one great regret, he at least had to stop a smaller one.
At the very least, he wouldn’t die so easily.
‘What remains… I leave to those who remain.’
Just then, Jeok Ho lunged forward like a swift tiger.
No tricks or deception – his movement was almost a straight line. Simple in the extreme.
But Cheon Myeon Susa lay in wait behind him. That made this seemingly simple strike the most vicious strike in the world.
Fwaaah!
Tang Gunak unleashed his flying dagger.
Two of the daggers that had left his hand swirled through the air, blocking the oncoming blade. At the same time, three other daggers threatened Jeok Ho’s body and restrained his movements.
And the remaining three daggers seemed to anticipate Cheon Myeon Susa charging in from behind Jeok Ho, blocking his path.
However.
Kagagang!
A surge of force, billowing like clouds, swept away all three of those daggers.
Tang Gunak closed his eyes.
‘One more.’
If it hadn’t been twelve but thirteen… perhaps he could have revived that forgotten legend with his own hands.
“It’s been a long time coming, Poison King. Now – die.”
The voice came from mere steps away. Tang Gunak stood tall and firm, his posture unwavering.
Kwaaang!
A sudden, thunderous explosion rang out.
Tang Gunak did not move. Having never tasted death, he couldn’t know what it felt like. So how could he immediately recognize if this was truly death, or something else?
Just then, a voice both familiar and unfamiliar reached his ears.
“Glad I’m not too late.”
Tang Gunak opened his eyes. He saw someone’s back before him, and his lips parted slightly.
“…You.”
The figure in front glanced back. His face bore that distinct sternness, as if perpetually weighed down by something heavy.
“Sect Leader Jongli?”
“My disciples still require quite a lot of attention, it seems. I apologize for having caused you hardship.”
It was Jongli Gok, the Sect Leader of Jongnam, speaking calmly.
“Since I’m late, I’ll make sure it’s done right – so don’t scold me too harshly, Lord Tang.”
Tang Gunak nodded, without even realizing it.
________
*자포자기(自暴自棄) – an idiom in Korean and Chinese meaning “to give in to despair/to abandon oneself.”It comes from Thirteen Chinese Classica biga often mentions: With those who do violence to themselves, it is impossible to speak. With those who throw themselves away, it is impossible to do anything. To disown in his conversation propriety and righteousness, is what we mean by doing violence to one’s self. To say “I am not able to dwell in benevolence or pursue the path of righteousness,” is what we mean by throwing one’s self away. I think this is very important to write here since this phrase carries significant meaning.
**온정(溫情) – can be read as warmth(emotional), but also can be read as kindness/affection. In the text I presented it as warmth to oppose the coldness, but it’s all about emotions.
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Return of the Mount Hua 
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