Return of the Mount Hua

I can’t do this anymore. Truly. (2)

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“Get in there, you wretch!”

“Aaagh!”

The boy who had been thrown into the prison cell rolled across the floor, then sprang back up as if bouncing back. But before he could even turn himself around, the prison door slammed shut with a thud.

The boy, Seok Hanbin, quickly clung to the bars as he shouted.

“No! Why are you locking up an innocent person!”

“Hoho. Innocent? Then are you saying you have never swindled Lord Song out of his money?”

“How is that a crime! The bastards who lend money at usury, and the man behind them, are all the same kind of scum! What’s so mortal a sin about cheating them out of a little!”

“Tsk, tsk. Such a young brat, and already so impudent. Go on, run your mouth all you like, you bastard. Last time, it ended with a flogging, but it won’t be that way this time. You’ll receive penal servitude, no question. If you want to come back alive, you’ll have quite the hardship ahead of you.”

“Eeeek!”

Seok Hanbin’s mouth fell open, and then he violently shook the bars he was gripping.

“What did I do so wrong that you’re throwing me into the mines!”

“It is not as if what you cheated them out of was merely a coin or two. So do not waste your strength for nothing. You should save it for swinging a pickaxe.”

“W-Wait! Just a moment!”

As the constables, chuckling, were about to turn away, Seok Hanbin quickly called out again.

“No, come on! Don’t be like that! Just come here for a moment.”

“What trickery is this brat trying to pull now?”

“What could I possibly pull off when I’m locked in a cell? It’ll only take a moment. I really do have something to say.”

“What is it?”

Though the constables wore expressions of utter disbelief, they approached Seok Hanbin again. Then Seok Hanbin quickly swept his gaze left and right to check whether anyone was around, and whispered softly.

“How much do you get paid?”

“Hm?”

“Your salary, I mean, your salary. As constables, you can’t be getting much, can you?”

“You little bastard, I’ve had just about enough of…!”

“Shh! Lower your voice.”

Seok Hanbin grinned broadly.

“Now, let’s think about this. Why was I brought here?”

“Because you committed fraud, wasn’t it, you insolent brat.”

“That’s right. That’s right. I swindled someone out of money. Then where do you suppose that money went?”

“Hm?”

The constables’ eyes narrowed slightly. At that, Seok Hanbin lowered his voice a little more.

“You caught the person, but the money hasn’t been recovered. Then doesn’t that mean the money is still somewhere?”

“…”

“Now, how much was it I swindled again?”

The constables shut their mouths. The money this brat had swindled was surely an enormous sum, one they would not even dare dream of. Hadn’t Lord Song, known as the richest man in Jinan, been beside himself with fury?

“U-Um.”

As the constables let out low groans, as though they had realized something, Seok Hanbin raised the corner of his mouth and whispered even more furtively.

“Don’t you need money? With that money, you wouldn’t have to suffer like this anymore. You could build a grand estate somewhere quiet and live in luxury. Am I wrong?”

Yes, with that money, they wouldn’t have to keep suffering through this work…

“This brat is up to another trick!”

Only when the constable, who had been lost in sweet delusions, heard the voice of another constable did he abruptly come to his senses. The young brat was such a smooth talker that he had almost fallen for it.

“Th-That’s right! Trying to bribe us, are you? Do you think we would fall for that?!”

“Fall for that? Why would I deceive you?”

“How are we supposed to trust a swindler’s words!”

“Oh, come on, a swindler is only a swindler when he’s outside the cell. How could a man locked inside a cell commit fraud?”

“…”

“What good would having money do for me when I’m locked up? In that case, it would be better for me to share some of it and get out, wouldn’t it?”

Before the constables could say anything, Seok Hanbin tapped the bars of the cell with his fingertip.

“Let’s split it cleanly into four shares. One for each of you, and two for me.”

“Wh-Why do you get two? If we split it, it should be into three.” 

“Come on, no matter how you look at it, that wouldn’t be fair. The two of you can just take the money, pretend you don’t know anything, smooth things over, and then quietly move somewhere else to live well. But I have to go on the run from now on.”

“Hm.”

“Now, now, I’m telling you, even that much would let you live in luxury for the rest of your lives. There’s nothing difficult about it. Just leave this cell door open, and I’ll handle the rest.”

“Then how are we supposed to get the money?”

“How many gates do you think there are? To leave the magistrate’s office*, there’s only the front gate. Wait there. Once I come out, we can go get the money together.”

The constables’ gazes wavered even more violently.

He was still only a small lad, so it didn’t seem likely he could climb over the officie’s high walls. In the end, he would have no choice but to pass through the front gate. The magistrate’s office of Jinan did not particularly station guards at the gate, so once he got out of the cell, there would be nothing to stop this fellow from escaping.

“What do you think?”

Seok Hanbin briskly rubbed his hands together. Judging by the dazed look in the constables’ eyes, it seemed they had more or less fallen for it…

Thud.

“Kkweeeeeek!”

Struck on the crown of his head by a cudgel that flew in from beyond the bars, Seok Hanbin collapsed flat on the spot.

After writhing briefly in pain, he sprang back up.

“Why did you hit me!”

“Tsk, tsk. Look at this insolent brat. Trying to bribe constables, are you?”

“Ah, seriously, there’s no getting through to you! That’s why you’re still just constables!”

“Don’t bother, you wretch. Did you think I wouldn’t know you’re penniless? Everyone around here who would know knows that you tried to run a business near Qinghe and lost everything. Tsk, tsk. Incompetent, yet all talk.”

“Incompetent? What do you mean, incompetent!”

Sparks flew from Seok Hanbin’s eyes.

“How is that something that happened because I was incompetent! How is a person supposed to stop a flood! If anyone was incompetent, it was the County Magistrate [지현(知縣) – an official] who failed at flood control [치수(治水)]!”

“Yes, yes. Next time, go visit His Excellency the County Magistrate and be sure to tell him exactly that. If you can, that is. Tsk, tsk. Little demon of a brat. Can’t let one’s guard down for even a moment.”

“No, I’m telling you, I really do have money! Have you lived your whole lives being tricked and nothing else…”

Thud.

Flop.

After striking Seok Hanbin on the head again with a cudgel to silence him, the constables clicked their tongues and turned away.

“At any rate, he’s rotten to the core.”

“Wow, even knowing full well, I almost fell for it. Lord Song even called us aside and warned us that the brat doesn’t have a single coin, told us not to fall for his tricks, and still, for a moment…”

“That is why that little brat has such notorious reputation throughout Jinan.”

“Tsk. Still, it is a shame.”

“What’s there to be sorry about? Let’s go have a drink. Since we caught that brat, won’t Lord Song give us a generous reward? Haha.”

Even as the constables grumbled and moved away, Seok Hanbin remained lying facedown as he was. After lying there fuming for quite a while, he slowly rolled over and stretched out flat on his back.

“Ah. It’s over. Completely over.”

Seok Hanbin, who had been staring up at the prison ceiling, suddenly twisted his face in frustration.

“Damn it. The plan was perfect.”

He had deceived Lord Song, and even secured a large sum from the Black Water Manor [흑수방 – heuksubang] through usury. All that remained was to slip away and leave Jinan.

“Who the hell were those bastards in black!”

His plan had gone awry because, when he returned home, some strange fellows had been waiting inside. In that instant, he had been flustered and had no choice but to move differently from his original plan.

“Aaaaagh! The more I think about it, the angrier I get! What the hell were those bastards doing?! And why did I have to panic then, too!”

Seok Hanbin irritably raked his fingers through his hair.

What could he do? Men with swords, men he had never seen before in his life, had been sitting inside his house, and not just one of them but several. How could he not be startled?

“Phew.”

Seok Hanbin let out a deep sigh.

“Penal servitude, huh…”

Penal servitude was a punishment where one was dragged off to a mine or a labor camp and made to suffer there for several years. But the reason penal servitude was a heavier punishment than flogging, where one was beaten with a club, was that…

“Was it one in three who died?”

It was because not many of those taken to the mines ever returned. He had heard that not even one out of three came back with their bodies intact.

Even returning like that was something only ordinary people could hope for. Since he had already incurred the enmity of the Black Water Manor, there was a high chance that Seok Hanbin would end up as a pile of bleached bones thrown into some secluded corner of the mines. Even thinking optimistically, he had to assume that nine times out of ten, he would die.

So, to sum it up, the moment he was dragged away like this, he was as good as dead.

“Ugh. I have to come up with something.”

The future was a problem, but the present was an even greater one.

The state of the prison cell was, quite literally, the worst. It was filthy, damp, and crawling with rats and insects. Food? Even your average commoner not infrequently went without meals, so what country would feed criminals? If the state used its own money to provide meals even for those who had committed crimes, there would be no shortage of people who would commit crimes on purpose just to be locked up.

“Last time I was locked up, I’ve nearly starved to death, too.”

Would this time be any different? He might die before he was even dragged off for penal servitude.

“Uuugh.”

Seok Hanbin groaned in frustration and tossed about.

Sure enough, as soon as the constables disappeared, the rats began to creep around. Good grief – what on earth. That one over there was so big it was practically the size of a forearm. A white one the size of a forearm…

“A weasel?”

Seok Hanbin sprang upright, doubting his own eyes.

In the dead of night, of all things… No, in the middle of a prison cell, what sort of weasel was this?

But the real reason he got to his feet was not because a weasel had appeared before his eyes. It was because that weasel was dressed in some kind of dark clothing, almost like a person.

“Am I seeing things..”

A weasel wearing clothes. At this rate, next a tiger flying through the sky would probably show up. It was not as though it were a dragon or a vermilion bird. Something like that had never even existed in his imagination…

Kiiiiiiiiiii!

But the weasel before his eyes, as if to prove that it was no illusion, walked straight towards Seok Hanbin. And not on four legs, but on two.

“Uh….”

There was no way a weasel could have an expression, and yet somehow, from that tiny face, he could almost feel the emotion, ‘What a damned bother, I could just die.’

The weasel trudged over on two feet, then shoved its forepaw deep into its clothing and pulled something out.

Something metallic, worn smooth with use…

“T-That can’t be… a-a key? The prison cell key? Really?”

Seok Hanbin’s mouth fell wide open.

If his eyes were not mistaken, it was definitely the prison cell key the constable had been carrying earlier. How in the world had that weasel gotten hold of it?

But the weasel before him, as though it could not even be bothered to explain, simply tossed the prison key right in front of him.

Kiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Then it stretched out its forepaw and pointed at the dungeon door. As if to say, ‘I don’t feel like talking – just open it and get out already.’

“…This is driving me mad.”

As if bewitched, Seok Hanbin picked up the key and staggered towards the door.

Whack!

“Aaagh!”

And at that moment, Seok Hanbin clutched his backside and tumbled forward.

Kiiiiiiiiii!

“A-Alright, I got it! I just have to hurry up, right!”

What kind of weasel was this, being that vicious…

The weasel threatened him, wiggling the tip of the hind foot it had thrust straight forward. Seeing that, Seok Hanbin shook his head without even realizing it.

“No, seriously, does this actually make any sense?”

Still dazed, Seok Hanbin reached his hand outside the bars, grabbed the lock, and cautiously pushed the key in.

“Surely, unless I’ve gone mad, there’s no way this will open…”

Click.

“…”

Srrrnng.

As Seok Hanbin stared at the lock that had opened so anticlimactically, his soul seemed to seep out of his mouth.

“…It worked.”

There was no way this should be happening… This should not have been possible…

Creeeak.

The prison door, its lock undone, slowly opened. As he stared at the sight in blank disbelief, the weasel climbed up onto his shoulder in an instant.

Then it thrust its forepaw straight forward.

“…Fine. Let’s go.”

Who cared, damn it. First things first, he had to get out of here!

Seok Hanbin bit down hard on his lip and, without delay, darted out of the prison cell.

And then….

“Ahem. I told you to look more carefully.”

“That’s strange. I definitely put it inside my robe earlier.”

“Why would something you put inside your robe suddenly disappear? You must have dropped it somewhere while putting it away.”

“I don’t think I did, so why… oh.”

“…”

“…”

The eyes of the constables walking into the prison corridor met Seok Hanbin’s. For a long while, they simply stared at each other in silence.

After standing frozen like that for a long moment, Seok Hanbin let out a sigh and opened his mouth.

“I really don’t think I’d believe myself either.”

“…”

“I didn’t steal it. This weasel here stole it and brought it…..”

Seok Hanbin, who had been feeling around his shoulder, tilted his head.

The weasel that had definitely been perched on his shoulder had, at some point, vanished without a trace.

“…”

“Never mind.”

Seok Hanbin smiled brightly.

“Let’s take it easy, shall we?”

The constables’ cudgels flew towards Seok Hanbin’s head.

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*야문(野門) – refers to a local administrative office in China (where officials work, trials are held, prisoners are kept, etc./not a modern word).

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