So it was still there. Within me. (1)
Silence.
Everything was silent.
The Archbishop simply accepted that long silence that seemed to stretch on without end.
Of course, that did not mean he welcomed this prolonged silence. He was one who had spent long years in silence against his own will. If silence means being unable to shout, unable to cry out, then he might well be the one who hated silence more than anyone else in the world.
It was agony. A torment greater than having one’s flesh torn apart, greater even than having one’s soul set ablaze.
The Archbishop had spent most of his life accompanied by the agony of that silence.
But now? Was the present silence painful as well?
No. It was not. On the contrary, though he was now being forced into a silence even deeper than any he had endured before, he no longer suffered.
Because the silence of the present was different from the accursed silence he had once been forced to endure without end. The end of this silence was already there before him.
The Archbishop looked steadily at a single place.
There, a figure as white as a pristine egret stood motionless, gazing at the distant sky.
The Heavenly Demon.
His God, and their God. His everything, and the everything of them all.
That divine being had come to a halt. Therefore, the Archbishop stopped as well, harboring not the slightest doubt.
The Archbishop’s gaze remained fixed upon the Heavenly Demon.
Even the word great was too irreverent to dare apply to him. The being manifested before his eyes was beyond the reach of human language itself. Such was the absolute perfection of his existence.
Yet it was lamentable that such sublime divinity had to reside within a mortal human body that was no more than a speck of dust.
Thus, the one before his eyes was an eternal and undying being, yet also a human who bled.
‘An existence mighty because He is a God, yet frail because He is human.’
Those words perhaps defined the being before him better than anything else. More so than any title the world had carelessly bestowed upon him.
That was why he could not continue onward without rest. The soul of a God had no limits, but the flesh of a human did.
‘But.’
The Archbishop’s gaze sank into profound contemplation.
The intervals between his rests were growing shorter and shorter.
As light returned to those vacant eyes, as the gaze that had wandered through empty space as though uncertain where to go became fixed upon a single point, as the faltering steps that had lurched forward like those of a wooden puppet gradually gained strength.
The Heavenly Demon was becoming the Heavenly Demon once more.
Becoming exactly as he had been in the past – the Living God [현인신(現人神)] incarnate the Archbishop had once beheld.
His chest ached.
The mere thought of facing that figure once again sent an unbearable rush of elation and terror surging through him at once.
No, that was not it.
It would not stop at merely that. The Heavenly Demon would surely become far more than he had been back then…
“The world.”
It was at that very moment.
From the Heavenly Demon, who had stood silently gazing up at the heavens for the past two sijin [4 hours], a clear, resonant voice suddenly rang out.
That sound. The instant he heard that voice, a voice that did not seem to have been produced by a human being, the Archbishop reflexively drove his head into the ground.
It was not a conscious act. Nor was it a movement born of habit.
Something contained within that voice itself had forced the Archbishop down into an even lower posture.
The Archbishop’s breathing quickened of its own accord. Only after expelling several ragged breaths did he regain his senses and force a trembling voice from his throat.
“P-Please, O Great One.… ask what you wish.”
But the question he awaited did not come.
Only then did the Archbishop understand that the Heavenly Demon’s words, ‘The world,’ were themselves the question, and he opened his mouth as though entranced.
“The world – the world of men – has changed, yet it has also remained unchanged.”
“…”
“Everything has changed, yet that change will mean nothing. The world is still ruled by filthy unbelievers, and their strongholds still stand firm. They defile the earth with sacrilege and throw open the heavens to blasphemy.”
The Archbishop spoke as though coughing up blood.
“So command us. Command us to trample them beneath our feet. Command us to annihilate them. In the past, we lowly and foolish servants dared not carry out the Heavenly Demon’s command. But this time will be different. Our bodies have been tempered by the savage northern winds, untouched by the breath of unbelievers, and our souls have been forged in the cold of lands no unbeliever has ever trodden. This time, we shall devote our lives and souls to carrying out your will.”
It was a cry that came from the very depths of his soul.
But he could not know whether that cry had truly reached him. As always, all he could do was cry out. Hoping that the desperate yearning contained within his voice would be conveyed.
The Archbishop prostrated himself.
Not daring even to think of raising his head. He simply remained bowed and endured what felt like an eternity.
After a long, long while, when his patience had finally reached its limit, the Archbishop cautiously raised his head.
And the Archbishop saw it.
The gaze of the exalted being resting upon him.
“Ah…..”
It was not merely that he happened to exist where the Heavenly Demon’s gaze had fallen. At that moment, the Heavenly Demon was unmistakably looking directly at ‘him.’
Moisture gathered at the corners of the Archbishop’s wrinkled eyes, and his vision blurred.
To another, it might have seemed like nothing. But the Archbishop knew. He knew how much that gaze signified, and how astonishing a sight it truly was.
The mighty. The exalted. The Emperors. And even the Gods.
Those who receive the worship of mankind always look down upon the world. From lofty heights, they gaze upon humanity as detached observers.
But the Heavenly Demon was different.
The few who still remembered the Heavenly Demon would know. Unlike any other absolute ruler, the Heavenly Demon’s gaze was always directed towards the heavens.
Their God never looked upon humans. He hated them so deeply that he refused even to let them enter his gaze.
And yet, the Heavenly Demon was looking at him now.
Even in ages past, only one or two people had ever been granted that glorious gaze – those who had served him from the highest ranks of the faith, and even they had received it only at the very end of the war. Now, that very gaze was resting upon the Archbishop.
The Archbishop trembled, overwhelmed with emotion. That single gaze made him feel as though all those long, agonizing years had finally been rewarded.
“Is that so.”
A vacant voice escaped the Heavenly Demon’s lips.
Nothing could be discerned from that voice. Whether those words held anger, regret, or even hostility, it was impossible to tell.
Then, before long, his feet slowly began to move once more.
Step. Step.
The Archbishop hurriedly slammed his forehead back against the ground.
Only three short words.
But that was enough. With that alone, the Archbishop could kindle new devotion atop the one already filling his heart.
But just as the Heavenly Demon was about to pass him by, a fourth word he uttered – one he had never dared expect – flowed from the Heavenly Demon’s lips.
“That…….”
The Heavenly Demon’s voice trailed off.
At the same time, his footsteps came to a halt. His head slowly lifted. Soon his gaze fixed itself upon the empty air once again, just as before, but this time the movement was unmistakably different.
It was the same silence, yet this silence carried a strange sense of frustration. The sort of frustration one might feel while straining to recall something that refused to come to mind.
“That one.”
At the voice that finally emerged from the Heavenly Demon’s lips, the Archbishop trembled.
‘That one*?’
A chill crawled up his spine.
Had the Heavenly Demon ever referred to anyone in such a manner? No, had he ever referred to a ‘person’ at all?
For that reason, the Archbishop could not answer. He did not dare even guess whom the Heavenly Demon meant by ‘that one.’
But that unspoken question was answered almost immediately. After uttering those words, the Heavenly Demon raised a hand and slowly traced it across his own neck, from left to right, as though feeling for a deeply carved scar.
At that moment, the image of a single person flashed through the Archbishop’s mind.
That hateful one who had committed the unimaginable blasphemy of daring to cut through the Heavenly Demon’s neck.
‘Maehwa Geomjon.’
Grrrk.
Clawing at the ground with his fingernails, the Archbishop answered in a trembling voice, unable to contain his rage.
“That bastard… That vile creature breathed his last on the spot after the Heavenly Demon returned to Demonhood**.”
“…”
“Not only every fellow disciple of his who survived there, but even their sect itself was utterly trampled and made to pay the price. Not even upon that filthy land should any trace of that wretch remain. Though there are those who still dare bear the name of that wretched Hwasan, they could not possibly have inherited anything from that treacherous creature, O Heavenly Demon.”
The Heavenly Demon did not answer.
He merely paused for a moment before resuming the steps that had come to a halt.
Had the Archbishop’s words been of help? Or had they been of no help at all…
Suddenly, the Archbishop seized his own face with one hand.
‘You blasphemous idiot!’
Help?
How could he dare harbor such a filthy thought?
The Heavenly Demon required no one’s help. How could there possibly be a God who needed the help of humans?
‘As though receiving a single glance had made you something of any importance!’
Detestable. That was what he himself was. Had it been possible, he would have shattered his own skull to pay the price for such blasphemy.
None of the Heavenly Demon’s words were ever directed at humans. The Archbishop merely happened to be there before him. The Heavenly Demon was one who knew all things, and one who would accomplish all things.
And yet, had a mere wall that did nothing but exist dared to possess a will of its own? A blasphemous will, at that?
Yes. Blasphemous.
The Heavenly Demon was one who never allowed humanity to enter his gaze.
But if that were so… Why had the Heavenly Demon spoken of ‘that one’?
His thoughts went no further.
A dog can never truly understand a human. It can only believe it understands in its own way. And so he, too, could never hope to understand a God.
But at that very instant, the Heavenly Demon’s fifth uttered word – a voice unmistakably different from any that had come before – reached his ears.
“……tion, was it.***”
The Archbishop’s body flinched and trembled.
What had He just said? What words had the Heavenly Demon just uttered?
The Archbishop turned his head in a daze.
All he could see was the Heavenly Demon’s back. Leaving him behind, the Heavenly Demon had already walked far into the distance. As the Archbishop kept his gaze fixed upon his back, a voice reached his ears, like a soft hum… tinged with a strange emotion.
“So it was still there. Within me.”
Rustle. Rustle.
The Heavenly Demon’s feet brushed through the grass. So gently and carefully.
He could not understand. The Heavenly Demon’s words.
But the Archbishop did not try to understand them. And this was not because attempting to understand would have been blasphemous.
He must not understand. No, he must never understand.
Such a powerful premonition had seized the Archbishop.
‘O Heavenly Demon.’
The Archbishop merely bowed his head once more.
Like a child shrinking back in terror beneath an asura that filled the heavens, the Archbishop merely closed his eyes and covered his ears.
‘What is it that you desire?’
With the thought that perhaps even the Heavenly Demon he believed he knew was no more than a fragment of the whole, the Archbishop swallowed the groan rising in his throat.
And perhaps that was because…
The Heavenly Demon’s back, which he had seen only moments ago, had seemed so unmistakably human.
________
*Heavenly Demon is saying “그는.” which means “that person/that one” without really specifying the gender, simply put 그 is a pronoun used to indicate people who are not the speaker or listener. We could say he is saying “he,” bcs we know what it is about.. but he isn’t exactly that eloquent rn, right. Basically he is saying “that ‘person’.”
**The word used here is 귀마(歸魔) which literally means ‘return to demon,’ which can be interpreted as returned to the demonhood/returned to the demonic realm etc, bcs they can’t exactly allow themselves to say that HD just “died,” which is also kind of not true cause he keeps coming back.
***OKAY SO. Maybe I broke my brain a little bit here. If u know Korean give me your hypothesis too. HD is saying “……순인가.” which looks like when we are saying, for example, “…tion” meaning it is “contradiction” but we didn’t hear the first syllables of the word. -순 is what we hear from the noun that he was saying and -인가 is just ‘is it/could be/perhaps.’ This is why the archbishop doesn’t understand what HD has said, bcs we don’t hear the whole thing. I PERSONALLY think (it is not the truth) and he may have said 모순 – contradiction “모순인가.” Why did I think of contradiction, because maybe he finds it contradictory he still cares for the existence of that human? And keeps remembering him? Also there are some quite semantically strong words ending with this syllable like 자기모순(self-contradiction), 내적모순 (internal contradiction) etc which could be lost somewhere in the wind while HD was speaking. Sorry for a lot of text! I am trying to think of more words fitting the context.
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