Dying would be easier. (2)
โHuffโฆ. โ
Unable to withstand the shock inflicted upon his body, the blood vessels in his eyes burst all at once. His vision blurred so much that he could barely see because of the bleeding inside his eyes, yet even through those eyes Chung Myung could see it clearly.
Dark Plum Sword. His beloved blade, symbolizing the ties between the Tang Clan and Hwasan, was driven into Jang Ilsoโs chest.
A stark white blade embedded through fabric soaked crimson.
Along that razor-sharp edge, the blood of the foremost figure in the Evil Sects dripped down.
That was not all. The feeling transmitted to his fingertips told him – this strike had certainly landedโฆ
But in that instant, Jang Ilsoโs palm slammed like a burning brand against the center of Chung Myungโs chest.
Boooom!
Coughing up blood into empty air, Chung Myung was hurled violently backward.
โHaโฆ ahโฆโฆโ
Jang Ilso let out a groan laced with both exhaustion and pain. His pale hand quickly reddened as it pressed tightly against the gaping black wound.
โGughk!โ
Spitting out blood, Jang Ilso squeezed at the injury on his chest, as if trying to wrench away the pain, and spoke.
โโฆIt hurts, you know.โ
His brow furrowed deeply. Excruciating pain spread through his entire body. The eyes that would not stop trembling flashed wickedly for a moment.
Gnash.
Jang Ilso spat out a clot of bloody phlegm, bit down hard on his own lips, and continued.
โThat was a bit much, Hwasan Geomhyeopโฆ I truly thought I was going to die.โ
With great difficulty, Chung Myung pushed himself upright.
โPtoo.โ
He spat out a large clot of blood and casually wiped the darkened blood from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve. Then he muttered.
โโฆWhat a joke.โ
Slam!
Planting his sword into the ground to prop himself, Chung Myung somehow forced his trembling body up. Though he swayed as if he would collapse any second, he somehow managed to remain upright. Then, baring bloodied teeth, he smiled brightly.
โYouโd better get used to it early. Itโll hurt even more when you actually die.โ
โโฆโ
โIsnโt that right?โ
โTsk.โ
Jang Ilsoโs expression subtly twisted.
โEven on the brink of death, you just canโt let go of that bravado.โ
Looking at Chung Myung, who seemed like he could collapse at any moment, Jang Ilso channeled his energy into his right hand. The visible wounds might make it seem like Jang Ilso had taken the heavier blow, but in truth, Chung Myungโs injuries were far more severe.
That meant he had to press the attack without giving him a chance to breathe – before the bleeding from the sword wound worsened.
Just as Jang Ilso finished calculating his next move and instinctively stepped forward.
Stagger.
His body shook violently. Eyes wide, he looked down at his own legs, dazed.
โDid I suffer internal injuries?โ
He quickly circulated his energy to reassess his condition.
But it wasnโt internal injury. Of course, the sword strike that had pierced his chest was serious, but it was only an external injury [์ธ์(ๅคๅท)*] – no more than a gash through his flesh. There was no reason at all he should be suffering internal injuries.
Then why, all of a sudden, were his legs refusing to obey him?
โImpossibleโฆโ
The tips of Jang Ilsoโs fingers trembled faintly.
โAm I afraid? Me?โ
Crunch!
He grabbed his own knee hard. His fingers dug into his skin, sending a chilling wave of pain through him.
โThisโฆโ
A brutal sense of humiliation seized Jang Ilso.
He had been through more life-or-death situations than one could count. At times, he had even willingly confronted death itself, prepared to accept his own demise without hesitation.
And now, after all that, his body was freezing up from fear? Ridiculous.
At that moment, devoid of much emotion, Chung Myungโs voice reached his ears.
โYour bodyโฆ cough! Cough! Damn itโฆ.โ
After cursing, Chung Myung spat out another mouthful of blood and continued speaking.
โโฆLooks like your body isnโt listening to you either.โ
Jang Ilso gave no reply. He merely glared at Chung Myung with sharp, narrowed eyes.
Chung Myung let out a short snicker.
โWant me to tell you why?โ
โWhat nonsense are you spouting nowโฆ?โ
โDeath itself is nothing. Weโve both come far beyond fearing such a trivial thing. Isnโt that right?โ
โโฆโ
โYou are not afraid of death.โ
Scrape.
Chung Myungโs sword scraped across the ground.
โWhat is truly frighteningโฆ is the dread that death might prevent you from accomplishing what you must.โ
โโฆโ
โThe dread that your end might render everything youโve achieved meaningless – that anxiety is whatโs holding you back.โ
Jang Ilso stared blankly at Chung Myung, as if struck on the back of the head.
โโฆAnxiety?โ
โExactly.โ
Jang Ilso slowly tilted his head to the side, as though he simply couldnโt grasp what heโd just heard.
โIsnโt that the same for everyone? Who doesnโt know everything ends when they die?โ
โDoes it?โ
Chung Myung let out another faint chuckle.
Scrape.
The tip of his sword, tireless, scraped the ground once more.
โThere was a time I lived like you, convinced without a shred of doubt that everything depended on my sword.โ
At the end of his words, Chung Myung slowly shook his head.
โBut not anymore.โ
From beneath his swollen eyelids, a calm gaze emerged.
โBecause Iโve seen them – people whose story doesnโt end with death, those who forge something that will continue after theyโre gone.โ
After staring at Chung Myung for a long while, Jang Ilso let out a hollow laugh.
โHah. I was wondering what nonsense youโd spew this timeโฆ.โ
โBut do you know?โ
Chung Myung smiled back at Jang Ilso. Yet the nature of his smile was clearly different from Jang Ilsoโs.
โYouโve already failed.โ
A sharp twitch ran across the corners of Jang Ilsoโs eye.
โFailed?โ
โYes. Because you will leave nothing behind.โ
Chung Myung slowly nodded, then found himself laughing again. Strangely, quiet chuckles kept slipping out of him.
Everyone has something they must achieve at all costs. To reach that destination, theyโd sacrifice anything. But once that desperately desired goal is accomplished, whatโs left afterward?
โThere is nothing there.โ
Chung Myung laughed bitterly. With each shudder of his body, darkened blood gushed out from the holes pierced through his flesh.
โNothingโฆ nothing at all. All that awaits is just emptiness.โ
He had been there before.
Cutting off the Heavenly Demonโs head – Chung Myung had once devoted himself entirely to that single goal, even more desperately and ruthlessly than Jang Ilso now.
Yet in the final moment, all that remained in Chung Myungโs grasp was regret, and regret alone.
โWhat matters isnโt what you accomplish, but what you leave behind.โ
โโฆโ
โBut you probably wouldnโt understand no matter how I put it.โ
Chung Myung chuckled softly again.
– No matter what I say, what could reach you as you are now?
The way Chung Myung looked at Jang Ilso now could hardly differ from how Chung Mun once looked at Chung Myung.
One who is โconsumedโ can neither see nor leave anything behind.
That was why Chung Myung saw his own past in Jang Ilsoโs figure now. Their destinations differed, but their methods were essentially the same.
But at the very leastโฆ
โโWhat you leave behind,โ is it.โ
At that moment, Jang Ilso looked up at the dark clouds filling the sky. Reaching out his hand as if to grasp the falling rain, he suddenly laughed quietly.
โYouโre joking, right?โ
Fwoosh.
Suddenly, Jang Ilsoโs body stretched like taffy**, surging towards Chung Myung. Chung Myung reflexively tried to swing his sword, but his wounded body refused to obey his will.
Boom!
His half-hearted swing was effortlessly deflected by Jang Ilsoโs fist.
Kwaaang!
A moment later the left fist that came flying buried itself in Chung Myungโs solar plexus up to the wrist.
โGah!โ
Unable to bear the shock and pain, Chung Myungโs mouth gaped wide. Jang Ilso instantly kicked Chung Myung, whose body had reflexively doubled over.
Booom!
With a thunderous crash Chung Myung was hurled backward, yet Jang Ilso did not allow him the slightest chance to escape. He snatched Chung Myungโs wrist as he recoiled and yanked him straight back, then gripped the back of his head and drove it towards the ground.
Boooom!
โKkโฆ.โ
Chung Myungโs body convulsed.
โWhat will you leave behind?โ
Booom!
Jang Ilso smashed Chung Myungโs head down again. He then grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up, causing Chung Myungโs limp body to appear as if he knelt before him.
โWhat you leave behind, you say? Hahahahahaha! Isnโt that hilarious! Ahahahahahaha!โ
Jang Ilso burst into manic laughter. Blood trickled down his pale face, streaming down like tears. After laughing for some time, he roughly jerked Chung Myungโs collar, pulling his face right up to his own.
Jang Ilsoโs mad eyes glared at Chung Myung from point-blank range.
โHow naive.โ
โโฆโ
โA person can never truly know anotherโs heart. They merely assume what it would be like and take comfort in that assumption, because otherwise the anxiety would consume them.โ
โJang Il…โ
โLeave something behind? Trust someone other than myself? Believe my will shall be carried on? Believe others will do what I could not? Believe? Trust? Someone else?โ
Chung Myungโs body trembled slightly.
It shouldnโt have been possible, yet in that instant Chung Myung felt himself completely overwhelmed by Jang Ilso for a brief moment.
โTrust?โ
Booom!
Kicked hard once more, Chung Myung was flung away and rolled across the ground.
โTrust? Itโs nothing but a petty trick, a comforting lie concocted by those worthless pigs who canโt accomplish anything on their own.โ
โโฆโ
โThose who can achieve greatness by themselves never speak of trust. Only incompetent fools hide behind such empty words.โ
With trembling hands, Chung Myung pushed himself painfully up from the ground. Jang Ilso watched the effort with a strange look.
โYou, of all people, should know, shouldnโt you?โ
Hostility surged in his eyes – and yet, there was also an unfathomable depth of faith in those eyes.
Reading this clearly, Chung Myung let out a faint laugh. To call it a laugh was generous – it was merely a slight twitch on his ravaged face.
โโฆYes. I know.โ
Now even his hands would no longer obey him, yet Chung Myung forced his body upright again.
Crunch.
Gathering the last of his strength, he gripped his sword firmly.
โI know exactlyโฆ how damn wretched it is.โ
His body was at its worst, yet for some reason hollow laughter kept escaping him.
โSo, Iโll tell you.โ
โโฆWhat?โ
โThat the one who says trust is worthless is merely someone who hasnโt yet stood at the very end.โ
He should have trusted a little more.
In his final moments, Chung Myung had resented Chung Mun. Heโd blamed Chung Munโs blind trust and naive kindness.
But the Chung Myung of now resents the self he was back then.
Why couldnโt he trust a little more? Why didnโt he try a little harder to help him?
If he had, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe he wouldnโt be standing here now, like some lingering wraith, trapped in this place.
Hooโฆ
Chung Myung slowly steadied what little inner energy he had left.
โHow much do I have left?โ
Then again, whatโs the use of such things now?
All that was left was to bring him down. Use every last ounce of strength he had. After that, the rest would be up to them.
As Chung Myung took a deep breath, making his final preparations, Jang Ilso spoke.
โTrust, huhโฆ Yeah, perhaps you might be right.โ
Chung Myung narrowed his eyes – not because the words surprised him, but because he caught the faint spark in Jang Ilsoโs face as he spoke.
โBut that thing you call trust – itโs a word you can only use when thereโs someone to give it to, isnโt it?โ
โโฆWhat?โ
An unknown unease swept through Chung Myungโs chest, and before he knew it – forgetting even his resolve not to – his gaze shifted towards the spot a little way off, the place Jang Ilso had been watching since moments ago.
โAnswer me.โ
The instant Jang Ilsoโs voice brushed his ears, Chung Myung saw it.
A red tide surging towards them from the far end of the earth, the ground stained black by darkness.
โAhโฆ..โ
A groan, half sigh and half lament, slipped from Chung Myungโs lips. Even from this distance, there was no mistaking what they were.
Jang Ilsoโs hounds were racing towards their master in a mad frenzy.
โIf everyone dies and disappears, then where will your trust go?โ
Jang Ilsoโs laughter-tinged voice pierced the frozen Chung Myung with merciless cruelty.
โNoโฆโ
Red Dogs, another name for despair, were rushing in.
________
*์ธ์(ๅคๅท) – physical injuries that are visible or affect the exterior of the body. It doesnโt mean โsuperficial,โ it means itโs a flesh wound like a stab, a slash etc. On the other hand, in martial arts context, ๋ด์(ๅ งๅท) – internal injury – refers to the injuries to dantian(s) and the meridians. The longer a fight drags on, the more these internal injuries interfere with the flow of qi, worsening the damage within the body. So Jang Ilso isnโt saying that the wound is shallow, or not life threatening (he mentions he can bleed out basically so he should attack faster), he is saying this is just not as bad as having an injury to the qi circulatory system.
**Yeot taffy – traditional Korean confectionery.
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