Who I was in the past and who he will become in the future. (1)
His mind was hazy. A sense of weightlessness, as if drifting in deep water, enveloped his whole body. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and sink forever into eternal sleep.
But Chung Myung forced his eyes open.
Through his blurred vision, he saw a sky full of dark clouds.
‘My limit…’
His body had already surpassed its limits. All that remained was sheer willpower.
He had always thought that alone was enough. His will had always been extraordinary. In fact, he had never given up even once until now.
But… was that really true?
Perhaps he had simply never been allowed to give up.
If Chung Myung lost, everyone lost. If he gave up, everything ended. If he turned away, someone died.
He took all these burdens as a matter of course. He had to. There had been no other choice. And so, it was alright. He could endure it.
But… had he really been alright?
Suddenly, a flash of vivd blue filled Chung Myung’s vision. Instinctively, he twisted his body.
Boooom!
The ground where Chung Myung had just been lying exploded with a deafening roar. The shock reverberated through his back.
“Gah!”
A metallic taste filled his mouth as blood welled up from his throat.
He felt as if he’d already spat out everything within him, yet apparently, there was still blood left to spill – just like this stubborn, unyielding life that refused to end.
Whooosh!
Three streams of energy. More precisely, three rings charged with energy came flying at Chung Myung’s head and chest. He hastily swung his sword to deflect the oncoming rings.
Clang! Clang!
The moment sword and rings collided, a cracking sound echoed inside his body. It was the sound of the bones in his wrist fracturing. His body, pushed past its limits, could no longer withstand even a blow like this.
Just then, something shot towards Chung Myung from the front – a hand wrapped in blazing blue flames. It was Jang Ilso’s claw [조(爪)], shaped like the talons [발톱 – usually of birds of prey] of a divine beast [신수(神獸)], slicing downward towards Chung Myung.
‘The sword…’
He could no longer move his sword.
The plum blossom sword, which had always moved according to Chung Myung’s will, now felt as immovable as a mountain – no matter how hard he tried, it wouldn’t budge.
Chung Myung stared blankly at Jang Ilso’s hand flying towards him, as if it were someone else’s problem. A sudden question flashed through his mind:
Why should he continue struggling?
He had done enough. He had genuinely given everything he could. Was it truly meaningful to keep desperately fighting just to prolong this endless suffering?
But at that very moment, a familiar voice pierced through Chung Myung’s ears.
“Chung Myuuuuuung-aaaaaaaah!”
As if that familiar cry had been a signal, Chung Myung’s dimming eyes reignited with fierce resolve.
‘My sword won’t move?’
So what?
Chung Myung knew.
Someone who had fought despite losing an arm. Someone who had fought even after losing their internal energy. Someone who, having lost every means of proving oneself, instead of surrendering, had charged forward even more fiercely.
With someone like that behind him, how could he possibly allow himself to whine?
Chung Myung let go of the sword he’d been gripping. Then, with his now free hand, he drew crimson plum blossoms in mid-air.
Plum Blossom Scattering Hand [매화산수(梅花散手)].
Though it was a plum blossom drawn by hand and not by sword, it was just as beautiful as anything he’d created with his blade.
Boooom!
Jang Ilso’s blue energy collided with Chung Myung’s crimson energy.
Crack!
Their hands, piercing through the clashing energies, intertwined in mid-air. In the same instant, as both gripped each other’s hand with all their strength, Chung Myung’s foot shot out like lightning and struck Jang Ilso square in the solar plexus.
Boooom!
Crack!
A tremendous explosion and the sound of something breaking resounded at the same time. Jang Ilso was thrown away like a cannonball, crashing violently into the ground.
“Cough.”
Chung Myung let out a dry cough. Soon after, with a detached expression, he glanced down at his right hand. Without hesitation, he grasped his twisted fingers, bent grotesquely out of shape.
Crack.
A chilling sound escaped. The blood-red fingers turned black in an instant, but without so much as a blink, Chung Myung twisted each broken finger back into place.
Snap.
Then he gripped his sword once more.
His hand was so shattered and bruised that it was hardly even a hand anymore, but now it no longer defied his will. As Chung Myung raised his sword, he slowly licked his lips.
Jang Ilso, still sprawled on the ground, thrust a hand up towards the sky.
“Hmm.”
Tap.
Ruffling his own hair carelessly with that hand, Jang Ilso chuckled softly and raised his upper body.
“Where did you pull that strength from? I thought you were as good as dead.”
Rustle.
The sound of Jang Ilso’s robes brushing against his body rang out with disturbing clarity.
Anyone watching Jang Ilso slowly rise could tell: unlike Chung Myung, who had surpassed his limits and abandoned even the thought of tomorrow, Jang Ilso still had strength to spare.
Strong.
Chung Myung acknowledged it without hesitation.
That man was strong. It was no excuse to say that he hadn’t regained his former prowess. Even if Maehwa Geomjon himself stood here instead of Chung Myung, he wouldn’t be able to deny how strong Jang Ilso was.
And so, it was clear.
With this ragged body, Chung Myung could never defeat Jang Ilso. It wasn’t resignation – it was simply the reality.
Jang Ilso slowly swept his fallen hair aside, his voice chilling as he muttered.
“Just when I think I’ve killed you, you come back to life. Just when I think I’ve broken you, you somehow recover once more.”
Jang Ilso glanced towards Baek Cheon in the distance.
“I’m getting sick of it. You’re all so disgustingly persistent.”
“…”
“Why? Did seeing your dear senior return from the dead give you strength you never had?”
Jang Ilso looked at Chung Myung, his face contorting as he let out a twisted smile.
“Stop dreaming already. Didn’t I tell you? In the end, everyone stands alone.”
Chung Myung silently gazed at Jang Ilso. For a fleeting moment, the figure of his past self overlapped with the man standing before him.
Yes, perhaps what Chung Myung was seeing… was his own reflection.
A version of himself who had not been abandoned at Hwasan Sect, who therefore never met anyone from Hwasan, who survived alone without ever finding a guiding light.
Someone who, unable to find a back to follow, fed solely on his own desires and clawed his way up to this place. That Chung Myung, who never found the shade of Hwasan, stood over there.
Bitterly noble and aloof.
That’s why he was strong. He had no choice but to be strong. But…
“How empty.”
At Chung Myung’s words, Jang Ilso’s eyes twitched faintly.
“You still don’t get it? Miracles don’t happen twice. Maybe that pitiful man has already used up all the luck you had left.”
“Luck…”
Chung Myung let out a brief laugh.
“Thanks to you, I understand now.”
“…Hmm?”
“…Complete transformation [탈태(奪胎)*].”
Chung Myung continued in a detached voice.
“Sudden enlightenment, or shedding one’s shell, seeking the truth, ascending to immortality…**”
“…What nonsense are you spouting?”
“They all call it what they like, as they please. In the end, it’s all the same.”
“…”
“What you long for and yearn for, what you desire with all your heart – when that is finally realized in your own flesh, that is complete transformation.”
Jang Ilso’s gaze darkened slightly.
“All streams return to the source [만류귀종(萬流歸宗)]. Such obvious words…”
“Wrong.”
Chung Myung cut him off firmly.
“In Buddhism, life is seen as suffering. But to reach enlightenment, one must endure that suffering.”
“…”
“That’s why Buddhism wishes for this: a body as unyielding as Vajra [금강(金剛) symbol of a diamond and thunderbolt], a mind that will not waver like a candlelight in the wind, able to withstand the discipline of suffering.”
Jang Ilso let out a groan.
“…The Indestructible Vajra Body [금강불괴(金剛不壞)].”
“Taoists seek to become one with the world. Not artificially, but as they are, as part of nature itself. They yearn endlessly for their bodies to harmonize completely with nature. In Taoism, a body that attains such a state is called a ‘natural body***.’”
“…”
“And in the secular world, people lament the years that have passed. They do not believe in what comes after, so they long for bodies that can grant them more time in this life. Simply put, youth.”
“…Rejuvenation [환동(還童)], then.”
Jang Ilso murmured as if entranced. Chung Myung slowly nodded.
“Though the endings may differ, the source is the same. An earnest wish transforms the body, slowly – or sometimes with the sudden rush of a torrent.”
Jang Ilso scoffed at what he’d heard.
“So, the moment one gains enlightenment, the transformation that had been held back due to insufficient realization bursts forth all at once. Is that the true nature of transformation and rebirth?”
“That’s right.”
“An amusing notion.”
Jang Ilso glanced again towards Baek Cheon. He couldn’t fully accept it, but there was certainly no other way to explain his recovery.
“Fine. Let’s say you’re right. But… why are you telling me all this?”
“What about you?”
“…What?”
“I’m asking about your body. To reach your current level, how did you change yourself?”
Faced with the unexpected question, Jang Ilso frowned.
“What are you…?”
“When I look at your body, covered in scars, that’s what I can’t help but wonder.”
Jang Ilso stared at Chung Myung, a look of utter incomprehension on his face.
“You’re full of contradictions.”
“…”
“And so am I.”
Chung Myung let out a quiet chuckle.
If Jang Ilso had truly wished for a flawless body, his scars would have vanished long ago. But Jang Ilso never desired perfection for himself.
It was the same for Chung Myung.
Had Chung Myung truly wished to become his fully matured self, his body would have long since regained its past form. Yet he remained smaller than he had once been.
Through this irony, he finally understood a truth even he hadn’t realized himself.
‘I just wanted to remain as I was.’
With his eyes closed, Chung Myung spoke quietly to himself.
“I’ve lived my whole life preparing for what’s to come.”
“What are you talking about…”
“But more than anyone, I’ve always been afraid of tomorrow. No matter how much I tried to fool myself, it was useless. Nothing terrified me more than seeing the days pile up, one after another.”
Afraid that the time he had now would someday lead to losing everything.
“That’s why I could never stop being a child. Because I wished for it so desperately.”
Chung Myung sneered.
“But… it can’t last forever. Eventually, tomorrow comes. Even if completing myself means calling forth ‘him,’ I cannot keep myself locked away forever.”
Now, at last, he understood the meaning of the Dalai Lama’s words.
Why was it that just sensing that man’s presence was enough to push Chung Myung to the brink of demonic possession [입마(入魔)]?
“Are you just going to keep spouting nonsense? I’m starting to get bored.”
Jang Ilso’s expression twisted slightly. His mind was in turmoil.
‘What is this?’
In his heart, he was already lunging at Chung Myung, unleashing attacks. But strangely, his body refused to move. His instincts were warning him. He must not approach that man right now.
With his eyes closed, Chung Myung spoke slowly.
“So now it’s time to accept it. In the end, I have to face it.”
“…”
“Who I was in the past.”
And the completion that would bring forth…
“And who he will become in the future.”
The wind blew.
Nothing had changed. Even so, Jang Ilso felt it.
“You…”
The color drained completely from Jang Ilso’s face.
Slowly, just as he had done when he closed them, Chung Myung opened his eyes.
In that instant, Jang Ilso, seized by a chilling aura, unconsciously took a step back.
An intense sense of incongruity flooded him. The person he’d been fighting just moments ago was clearly the same, yet appeared completely different. It felt as though someone else had put on that man’s skin, filling Jang Ilso with suffocating unease.
“What on earth…?”
Crack.
Chung Myung clenched and loosened his shattered fingers, then muttered to himself.
“What a complete mess. But… it’s just perfect for now.”
At last, Chung Myung’s gaze turned fully to Jang Ilso. At that familiar yet foreign look, Jang Ilso flinched faintly.
“I’ll let you see it with your own eyes. The world of a hundred years ago.”
Wooooooong!
The Dark Plum Sword erupted with a sword cry that sounded like a scream.
________
*Chung Myung says – taltae – 탈태(奪胎) meaning 환골탈태 (換骨奪胎) – hwangol-taltae – mentioned in previous chapters.
**돈오(頓悟) – to come to a sudden realization/enlightenment in Buddhism. 탈각(脫殼) – shedding one’s shell/skin, often used in idioms. 구도(求道) – Seeking truth or the state of religious enlightenment in Taoism. 등선(登仙) – ascending to immortality, a Taoist concept meaning to transcend mortal existence and become an immortal being.
***자연체(自然體) – in wuxia – natural body/form/the state of the body, meaning a body in perfect harmony with nature or the Tao, free from artificial interference or inner blockages. In kendo means a most natural posture of the body/natural stance.
________
Please, subscribe/donate on Patreon or Buymeacoffee – support my work and help me buy official cookies to purchase the chapters. My schedule is on the About page.
Return of the Mount Hua 
Leave a reply to Peykun Cancel reply